Tsuki

Watashi wa, anata wa watashi ga kuso sore o gamandekinai kare to watashi no konomi no teido o sansho chimamire no parupu ni kare o taosu ato ni kare o fakku shite kudasai.Anata wa kare ni sore ga kare to issho ni, watashi wa anata no tame ni wa, akiraka ni watashidake, sore ni tsuite no thats no aidea no yo ni heiwa ni narimashou iku to iu konomeba, watashi wa anata ni kekkon shite hitori nashi saigo ni watashi o okora seru.Shikashi Ohaio-shu no kare wa sono hoho de anata o nozonde inainode, shigoto ni iku node wanai thats no.O susume wa, anata ga kare yori mo ushinau mono ga oku o motte jitsugen suru.Watashi wa kuso mattaku gamandekinai.

Don't you understand I'd give you everything I have. I'd dedicate every piece of love in my body just to have the gut to tell you that I am weak and you are strong. I am the lowest of lows and you are the higest of highs you make the sunrise brighter and the sunset slower. You send shivers down my spine and I cant breathe when you say my name. All I can do is take you in as you come to me in a blur of words so I sit for hours on end trying to figure you out but you are too beautiful for my understanding and I am selfish and miderable, but I will never tire of this. You are rooted too deeply in my system I couldn't get you out even if I tried and it's a privilege to feel my name roll off your tongue

I need more nights like last night

The thoughts feelings and emotions im going through is mind numbing and no one cares so I just need to bottle them up since no one will listen anyway is how I feel. So ill pray that things will workout cause just a little peace of mind is all I want

Watashi wa watashi ga ue de dosa suruhitsuyogaru mono o motte iru kamo shirenaiga, watashi wa anata ga mada kare o kangaeru shiru koto wa dekimasen

"I'm not going to lie i still think about it still"

"Well we will have to try to make that happen again"

I just don't know i feel like i'm just way to paranoid  I want to trust but its hard been hurt way to many times. And as of lately with the passing of a dear friend i just want things to be better. I'm sad, just plain sad, i can hide it and fake it all i want to but sometimes it comes out and there is no hiding it. I want to be able to joke around and flirt with you and hold you and spend an evening together like we use to an watch a movie. I want us to lay together as i watch you fall asleep in my arms.

But i can't i just don't know anymore. I just want to be happy is all. i feel like something is going on behind my back and i am just not seeing the signs. then i think maybe its me wanting to see thing that aren't there. I just want answers to questions i don't think i ever will get. It just sucks, it feels like i'll have a nervous breakdown, or my anger will get the best of me and keeping those in check is hard. i just things upfront and honest so that i won't be paranoid