The thoughts feelings and emotions im going through is mind numbing and no one cares so I just need to bottle them up since no one will listen anyway is how I feel. So ill pray that things will workout cause just a little peace of mind is all I want

Watashi wa watashi ga ue de dosa suruhitsuyogaru mono o motte iru kamo shirenaiga, watashi wa anata ga mada kare o kangaeru shiru koto wa dekimasen

"I'm not going to lie i still think about it still"

"Well we will have to try to make that happen again"

I just don't know i feel like i'm just way to paranoid  I want to trust but its hard been hurt way to many times. And as of lately with the passing of a dear friend i just want things to be better. I'm sad, just plain sad, i can hide it and fake it all i want to but sometimes it comes out and there is no hiding it. I want to be able to joke around and flirt with you and hold you and spend an evening together like we use to an watch a movie. I want us to lay together as i watch you fall asleep in my arms.

But i can't i just don't know anymore. I just want to be happy is all. i feel like something is going on behind my back and i am just not seeing the signs. then i think maybe its me wanting to see thing that aren't there. I just want answers to questions i don't think i ever will get. It just sucks, it feels like i'll have a nervous breakdown, or my anger will get the best of me and keeping those in check is hard. i just things upfront and honest so that i won't be paranoid 

We can make it easy
We can do it simple
I'll be waiting right there
Promise to be gentle
Sittin' by your window
Girl, you're so fly to me

I sit and think and come to the realization there is no room to sit and pout around over things that are not in my control. I just need to have faith and believe that things will workout for the best. Im not saying im giving up by all means no, I intend to fight with every last bit of strength to go after what I love and attain the happiness that I deserve, I dare someone to get in my way.

Im tired of sulking around when certain things are said when I know im better than that. I mean I know im freaking amazing, no if ands or buts about it. like everyone else I to have my insecurities and demons that I must face, and I know I have came along way facing them

Hmm.

By the nature of being human, we are all wondering about the thoughts and actions and behaviors and inner workings of each other, as we only know about our own thoughts and actions. It also notes what an intriguing thing it is to think about, how we can never know as much about others as we know about ourselves.